Healing
after a Divorce or Breakup
Why
do breakups hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good? A
divorce or breakup is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the
relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Romantic relationships
begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. When these
relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief.
A
breakup or divorce launches us into uncharted territory. Everything is
disrupted: your routine and responsibilities, your home, your relationships
with extended family and friends, and even your identity. A breakup brings
uncertainty about the future. What will life be like without your partner? Will
you find someone else? Will you end up alone? These unknowns often seem worse
than an unhappy relationship.
Recovering
from a breakup or divorce is difficult. However, it’s important to know (and to
keep reminding yourself) that you can and will move on. But healing takes time,
so be patient with yourself.
Coping
with separation and divorce
:::
Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. :::
It’s
normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused—and these
feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept
that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the marriage was
unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.
:::
Give yourself a break. :::
Give
yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a
period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or
care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a little while. No
one is superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.
:::
Don’t go through this alone. :::
Sharing
your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider
joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Isolating
yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in
the way of your work, relationships, and overall health. Don’t be afraid to get
outside help if you need it.
Source: Mental Health America
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